It is difficult to admit, even in private to ourselves, that we hold some level of self-hate energy. In my case, the guides and my high self assisted me in being aware of it during the process of transmuting the soul fragmentation in my energetic body. I suggested to the guides that we do a post about it, so that others won’t have as much difficulty as I did in releasing the energy. To get to this level of clearing is truly a gift you give yourself. Let’s see what the guides have to teach us about this topic.
Who will assist us today? Seraphim, my angelic guides will assist us today. Metatron, an angel of alchemical mastery, and Xavier, my galactic spirit guides, will help facilitate the discussion. (In this post, I asked the first question and Metatron and Xavier ask the rest.) All channeled material is in italics. Beneath the question or heading, in italics, is exactly what I hear from the guides, verbatim.
What is self-hate energy?
Seraphim: Self-hate occurs when the incarnate soul repeatedly makes decisions that are in diametrical opposition to its soul centeredness. We will give you an example to solidify the concept. Let us say that there is a person incarnate on Earth and their soul centeredness, by soul agreement, is that they eat a plant-based diet. However, they are born into a family that heavily eats meat and does not take alternative diets seriously. This person tries their best to eat what is prepared for them, but they have difficulty stomaching it. That is, because eating a plant-based diet is this person’s soul centered preference, it is not something they have to force themselves to do, it is something they inherently want to do. However, in this person’s need to keep the peace within the family, they force themselves to eat meat, even though they do not like it. Once they are grown, they become so used to “selling out” their preferences that it bleeds into other areas of their life. They begin to change themselves for acceptance sake. They do this in their careers by doing things they don’t want to do, even when the opportunity to say no presents itself. They do it in their relationships by acquiescing to their partner’s or friend’s preferences, even when the partner or friend gives them an opportunity to speak their mind and assert their preferences. What happens when one denies themselves their soul centered truth time and time again is that aspect of themselves begins to hate the personality that does not stand up for them and their preferences. At first this aspect will rebel against the decisions of the personality through procrastination. If the personality does not pivot and begin to discern their soul centered preferences, the aspect begins to get numb and begins to avoid their existence all together. That is, it becomes apathetic to life and this can show up in the incarnate soul’s life in several ways. The ways in which this manifest is specific to the person so we cannot give specific examples. However, on the inner, there is a knowing whether there is an aspect of self that is so apathetic to their existence that they have “given up” trying to be heard by the personality.
As the story goes, if the personality persists in making decisions that is in diametrical opposition to their soul centeredness, then the aspect that has become apathetic becomes resentful. Should the personality keep on persisting, then the aspect’s resentfulness will begin to bleed into self-hate. At some point, the high self cannot allow self-hate energy to keep aggregating into the energetic body because it will cause the person’s vibration to lower, so they will usually call a triggering event to stop the individual from persisting in making decisions and taking actions that are in diametrical opposition to their soul centeredness.
The other way that self-hate energy occurs is when one makes a very big decision or takes a very big action that is in diametrical opposition to their soul centeredness. This is what we have referred to, on occasion, as stepping off the blueprint. If the deviation from one’s soul centeredness is large enough, then self-hate energy can aggregate in the body, even if the decision hasn’t been persistent or pervasive.
Xavier: How can self-hate energy be transmuted?
Seraphim: This is excellent insight for self-hate energy cannot be transmuted. Why? Because self-hate energy shows up in the energetic body as a kind of death or a kind of void, depending on how deeply the self-hate energy has been empowered. Ultimately, transmutation is not the anecdote to self-hate.
Metatron: What is the anecdote to self-hate?
Seraphim: The anecdote to self-hate is release of the energy, either through energy work or by releasing the activities that are in diametrical opposition to the human’s soul centeredness. This is what we refer to as radical authenticity. We will use the channel as an example because she is a good one and she has done well to release the self-hate energy in her system. Recently, she has quit her law school studies, which was difficult for her for there was an aspect of her that found it enjoyable and we would even say was passionate about matters of the law. However, the environment she has cultivated around law school, the conditional acceptance of family and friends, the difficulty of the institution of legal learning as empowering self-hate through extreme competition, and her own inability to honor herself amidst her difficulty with multiple learning differences, made it difficult for her high self to allow her to continue. So, we hope you see why she is a good example. Self-hate is not some clear line, some discrete activity or event you can pinpoint, it is an energy. When the energy is large enough and in the channel’s case the things we have mentioned have, unfortunately, trumped her passion for the subject matter, it becomes imperative for the high self not to encourage the personality to procure any more self-hate. We also wish for you to understand something about the channel. The channel has worked very hard at her ascension. Thus, her lightbody is fully integrated, her luminous body is caught up with the luminosity of Earth and she has full access to the Alchemical Matrices that she is in agreement to at this time. That is a lot of light in one person. Thus, it does not take a whole lot of energy for her to begin to be in self-hate. The universe will DEMAND that she be as fully authentic as she is capable of, for that is the path of the awakened. We mention this because many of you that read this want to walk the same path. To walk the same path, you must also be brave enough to walk the path of full authenticity and it becomes easier to do so when you believe it is POSSIBLE to be fully authentic without being in substantial conflict with how Earth naturally is.
So, as the story goes, the way the channel released self-hate energy is that she took action to remove that aspect of her life that bred inauthenticity, her law school experience. It was very difficult for her, as we have mentioned because she was passionate about aspects of it, but in the end, she understood that the decision was right action and right timing. If she wishes to continue in the future, she may, though we have guided her not to make any decisions for about a year. To continue, she needs to find an environment where she can walk a fully authentic life and that can be difficult given the current state of legal education as an institution today. As we said, if you believe it is possible, the universe will show you the way, for to hold as much light as she does, there isn’t much she cannot manifest if she only believed in herself.
Xavier: What is the path forward after releasing self-hate energy?
Seraphim: It requires quite a bit of energy work to fully release self-hate energy from the body. This is what the channel is currently doing. Utilizing crystals during meditation, where you set a clear intention to release self-hate energy, is important to begin to cleanse the energetic body. Understand that self-hate or death or void energy is quite taxing to your energetic matrix. So, releasing self-hate energy is only the first step of the whole process of being free from it. After you release self-hate by identifying the source of self-hate in you and setting the intention to release it, what now needs to occur is that your energetic matrix must be rebuilt after the release of the death or void energy that was the holder of your self-hate.
The rebuilding of the matrix is something that is done by specialist guides. They will assist you in doing this. What the personality must do while in this process is to honor the rest and reflection necessary to rebuild their matrix. What reflection is necessary for this to be an efficient and effective process? Ask who you truly are. Ask. Ask. Ask. Do not answer. We said ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Do not answer. Learn to hear not tell. Learn to hear not tell. This can be difficult when one has been taught to be in charge of their life, when there is an inordinate amount of independent energy in the energetic body. Independence is good, but when independence becomes a way to separate yourself from the rest, to create a division between you and others, then it is no longer independence but separation. What you want is to be not codependent but to understand that to be human is to give and to take without making that process be a transactional one to the point where it becomes codependence. For some, this may be more difficult but to ask the high self who you truly are, is to get to this beautiful space of integration with your fellow humans.
Metatron: What happens after the person’s Energetic Matrix is rebuilt?
Seraphim: Life becomes magical.
Metatron: There has been much said in this post. We thank the channel for being brave enough to get to this level of integration so this message becomes possible. We send her support and love and we send you all support and love in your journey to unconditionally love self.