I woke up this morning and felt guided to ask the guides about this topic. Let’s see what the guides will teach us about it.
Who will assist us today? Seraphim, my angelic guides, Metatron, an angel of alchemical mastery, and Xavier, my galactic angels, will assist us today. Beneath the question in italics is exactly what I hear from the guides, verbatim.
From a guide’s perspective, what is validation? Why is understanding it consequential to our ascension as human beings?
Seraphim: This is a good conversation to have, especially in the country that our guidee is in. The need for validation can be very dangerous to human beings when the seeking of such validation happens in an ungrounded manner. Let us explain what we mean by this but first we wish to go through some definitions with you so we are not having a vague conversation in this post.
What is validation? From our perspective as guides, validation is a human seeking the approval of some perceived inner circle. The inner circle that this person seeks approval from can be real or imagined. This second part is important for what is really happening energetically is that when someone is addicted to validation they are leaning in to the shadow of a soul fragment and that shadow is very dark. We will explain that in a moment.
What we wish to teach you now is why understanding validation is so consequential to your ascension. As we said prior, when one seeks validation in an ungrounded manner, it can be very consequentially dangerous to the ascension of the soul. Here is why. When you seek approval of some inner circle, real or imagined, and you do not have a grounded reason for needing such an approval, are you really seeking the approval of that inner circle or are you playing out dangerous past life karma? What does it look like when you are seeking approval of an inner circle in a grounded manner? Let us take the example of a teacher and a student. Students often want the approval of their teachers and the best teachers are those who are warm hearted and are also subject matter experts in their field. A student may seek the approval of such a teacher or professor because they wish to learn from them. This relationship, this exchange will be grounded if they are rooted in mutual respect for one another. When that occurs, the relationship is expansionary. Expansionary relationships such as this tend to be very co-creative, precisely because the interaction magnifies energy. It creates more light in both people’s lives. Now, we wish to point out why this relationship is grounded. It is grounded because the seeking of approval is purposeful. It’s natural to want the approval of a trusted mentor when you know they want what is best for you. Additionally, it is grounded because both people are grounded in who they are and you can see this by their mutual respect. That is, both people know who they are independent of the status that the relationship may garner. So that is that.
What does it look like when this relationship is ungrounded? It is ungrounded when it is conditional unto the other and each person is not grounded within their own unconditional self love. Let us say, for example, that this teacher or this professor’s identity is rooted in him or her being an expert in _________ and that is the basis of his or her self worth without any regard to unconditionally loving themselves beyond their professional capacities as a person. Then this mentor will be an ungrounded one for this student. Consequentially, if the student needs the teacher’s or professor’s approval as a means to supplement their self worth, then he or she will also be ungrounded. So, we hope you and your readers see the distinction here. You are grounded when you love yourself unconditionally precisely because when you do, you are connected very strongly to the high self and the vastness of the high self will anchor your being. This means that you get your energy mostly directly from the high self and so this grounds the personality or small self within their body. Those souls on Earth who have a habit of dissociating from their Earthly bodies are often not grounded onto the high self. Addiction to validation is one of the main reasons souls dissociate from their Earthly bodies, though there are other reasons as well that can be covered in a different article or post.
What is an addiction to validation? How can we know we are addicted to validation?
Xavier: We wish to warn some readers at this moment that they may not be comfortable with what they are about to read for it is in diametrical opposition to what you are taught as children on what it means to be a productive human. So, that is that.
Addiction to validation often looks like intense drive, overworking, an addiction to manipulating appearances or the perceptions of you by your perceived inner circle. It can also look like an intense commitment to some ideology, some idea, or philosophy. What do these things have in common? What the first list shows you is that an addiction to validation occurs when you wouldn’t normally do something unless there was the benefit of the validation. Would you harm yourself overworking if you would not be validated for it at the end of the day? Probably not. Would you perform the hard work of maintaining appearances if you were not going to be validated for it? Most humans would not. The second list, on the other hand, shows an addiction to validation when you are committed to such things in an ungrounded manner. Why is this addiction to validation? It is because the idea or philosophy validates you.
There are many other ways in which an addiction to validation shows up, though, we wanted to start with some concrete examples. You know you are addicted to validation because you NEED the validation. No one needs validation. We are proud of our guidee here, for once upon a time, she needed to have an advanced degree. She has done substantial inner work on herself such that today if she finishes this law degree she started that would be great, but should her high self or her guidance team reallocate her time to that which is something better, she will honor that as well. So, she has overcome her addiction to validation because she is not attached to any outcome that is validating for her. There is a reason we are using her as an example, though, we wish to honor her because it has taken her gargantuan effort to get to the groundedness where she is at. She used to have difficulty staying in her body but today she rarely dissociates. The key here is that if her time were to be reallocated to something better, she will honor that. So, that is a big hint for many of you wondering if you are addicted to validation. Are you unable to see or accept that your high self may be reallocating your time to something better? This means that as the personality you do not think where you are going is something better, which means you are resistant. This resistance is your addiction to validation. You NEED exactly THAT and the small self or personality self is dictating what THAT must be. It can’t be any other way, it must be THAT. So, that need for control is a hint that you may be addicted to validation.
We wish to address why an addiction to validation is so dangerous to your ascension. The short answer is that it halts your ascension and potentially contracts your soul. Why? If you think of yourself as a bundle of energy and think of other people and things on Earth as bundles of energy, you can see that each energetic bundle has some level of light in it. When one is grounded within themselves, which means they are not attached to outcome and open to possibilities, their bundle of energy is most connected to the high self, which is an infinite source of light. So, these people do not have difficulty lighting their own way and this is why they are okay with uncertainty within the present moment. It is because they light enough of the way and they can be comfortable in the light. When one is ungrounded and seeking validation, it means that you are seeking to anchor yourself somewhere other than the high self. It could be that you are seeking to anchor yourself to that job you have, the school you go to, or how much money you have. The list can go on. Imagine that the bundle of energy that is your job, is not light like your high self. And the bundle of energy that is your school or your net worth, is potentially marred by shadows. So, you see, when you are anchored in anything other than the high self, inevitably you are partially anchored towards someone else’s shadow. Over time, depending on how much shadow you ground yourself in, it will dimmish your light. When it does, you feel confused about who you are, what you want, and don’t feel autonomous within yourself. That is, you don’t know who you are unless there is some validating entity that tells you what that is.
As a bundle of energy, humans must anchor themselves to something. What will that something be for you? This is why it is good to vet the energies of what you come across and why energy healing modalities, such as Reiki, is so important on the Earth plane. It allows you to regularly clear yourself out as a bundle of energy so that you can restore the light that you are.
How can we overcome an addiction to validation?
Metatron: This is the question we have been awaiting and why this article or post will be so consequential to many humans’ ascension. The anecdote to an addiction to validation is self-love. Now, there are many articles in this forum that discusses self-love and we wish to append to that. When you love yourself unconditionally, then you are anchored to the high self. The problem with unconditionally loving self, as has been previously discussed in this blog, is that most humans don’t know what that feels like because you don’t know how that feels until you have actually done it. So, if you don’t know what that looks like and how it feels, how do you begin to unconditionally love yourself? The easy answer is by intention. Set the intention that you would like to unconditionally love yourself and in your asking, the high self will make it so.
Now, for the hard part. What happens after you make such an intention? When you make that intention, your high self will begin to re-anchor you to itself so that you can receive more light. This means that those things that you may have anchored yourself to that are causing shadows in your bundle of energy may be removed by the high self. When the personality or small self is very attached to these shadows they have been anchored to, some of which they may have been anchored to for most of their life, it can be a painful experience for them. Understand what is happening here, energetically. The high self is re-anchoring you to itself, which means you will be receiving more light. However, for that occur and not waste energy, it must remove anchors in your life that are causing shadows. If the personality or small self is attached to these anchors that are being removed, they have to reckon with releasing that attachment. I hope you can have some compassion for yourself here. You may not know or even understand the degree of your attachment. Seraphim has alluded to above that sometimes addiction to validation is truly the personality leaning in to a dark shadow of a soul fragment. That occurs when there is substantial resistance because you have repeated this particular behavior over many lifetimes. So, be gentle with yourself as you go through the grief of removing these anchors that no longer serve you.
From personal experience, the process of releasing our attachments to what has validated us can be harrowing, precisely because we can be resistant in our unawareness that these things do not serve our highest good. Being validated is a pleasurable experience, so as humans we don’t always know it’s bad for us. On some level, like other addictions, we crave it. Can you give us some tips on how to get through this process of releasing our attachments to what validates us?
Xavier. Good. This is excellent insight. We wish to acknowledge several things in this question. The first is that yes, an addiction to validation is like other addictions that you see. Precisely, because as the channel, our guidee, has pointed out, it is pleasurable. So, that is true. What you may not recognize is that like other addictions, after the pleasure that the validation gives you, there is a crash. And that crash can be substantial such that you wish to get back on the high and so you seek the next level of validation. The cycle continues until you run yourself haggard. The reason you crash after the validation is because you are not anchored to anything more substantial like the high self. Validation is a kind of energetic high but not an energetic high that is born out of light. The reason you feel you must keep seeking validation is because you want to experience the energetic high, but the easiest way to always be in a light filled energetic high is to be anchored to the high self by unconditionally loving self. So that is that.
The second thing we wish to acknowledge is that it is hard inner work to release your attachments to validation. As Metatron and Seraphim has alluded to, it could be the case that you have held the belief that cause the attachment over multiple incarnations. So, what can you do when you go back and crave validation? Reaffirm your intention to love self unconditionally and your high self and guidance team will assist you on uncovering the hidden beliefs that make you so attached. When you disaffirm these beliefs and replace them with a belief of loving yourself unconditionally, you will be able to get through releasing your attachment.
We wish to say, that yes, sometimes this can be a harrowing experience but it need not be if you choose to do it with ease and grace. It becomes harrowing when you are severely resistant to releasing your attachment. Sometimes, this occurs because as we have said you repeated the behavior over so many lifetimes that you are responding automatically and holding on to your attachments for dear life. So, as Metatron has said, it’s important for you to be compassionate with self. If it is not easy for you to release the attachment, be okay with that. In being okay with that, you will actually love yourself unconditionally such that it will become easier for you to release the attachment at the next opportunity the universe gives you to do so.
At this moment, we want to acknowledge that this process can be very hard on some, especially those older souls who has had more opportunity to repeat certain behaviors. Again, be kind and compassionate to self. Keep reaffirming your intention to love yourself unconditionally and you will get through the releases with as much ease and grace as you are capable of.
How does it look and feel like when we are no longer addicted to validation?
Seraphim: We don’t want to disappoint you and your readers but, on some level, humans will crave validation, for that is the work of Earth. The trick is that when you do crave validation that you reflect on how grounded you are in that seeking. This is why in the beginning of this post we painted a picture for you on what it looks like to be grounded in seeking validation. So that is that.
But what does it look like when you are no longer addicted to seeking ungrounded validation. Well, we would say this looks different for everyone so much so that there isn’t much we can say other than generally, you feel good about yourself and you like yourself as you are. Your relationship with yourself isn’t rooted in identity that does not serve your highest good, instead it is anchored to the unconditional love available through the high self. When you love yourself unconditionally, there is a peacefulness within your being, a stillness within your existence. That is, whatever is happening in your life, whether you perceive it to be good or bad, pleasurable or unpleasant, you often do not overreact because you are anchored in the stillness of the unconditional love of the high self. This does not mean you are not disappointed when something adverse happens to you but it could mean that even amidst that disappointment, there is acceptance and maybe even gratefulness for the awareness of what you need to clear.
So, it is different for everyone. What we can tell you is that on the inner, you have a knowing how far you have come and how much farther you can go. Honor this and trust the process of your high self.
I think there has been a lot of information offered here. Any last messages?
Metatron: Intention is very powerful. So, if you wish to begin loving yourself unconditionally, set the intention and it will be so. When there are wobbles, when there are obstacles, when you have resistance, you can get pass all of this by reaffirming your intention. Commit to loving yourself unconditionally in the same way someone in recovery commits to their sobriety. Stories are very powerful things. What story are you telling yourself? Is it a story born out of unconditional love? Or is it a story that anchors you to your addiction to validation? Watch the stories you tell yourself and if those stories are not unconditionally loving, change the story to one that is. We are always with you when you need our assistance. Call on our energies to assist you with unconditionally loving yourself and it will be so.
Thank you for your time and assistance!
Seraphim: It cannot be said enough that we are waiting and ready to assist you. Call on any of our energies and you will be assisted in bringing more unconditional love in to your life.
