I asked the guides to coach us through how to overcome the imposter syndrome. The imposter syndrome is when we don’t feel like we are good enough to be exactly where we are. It’s a kind of not enoughness that creeps up on you when you least expect it. Fundamentally, the imposter syndrome is a difficulty with honoring ourselves exactly as we are.
Who will assist us with this question? Seraphim, my angelic guides, are going to guide us today. Beneath the question in italics is exactly what I hear from the guides, verbatim.
Can you tell us from a guide’s perspective what is the imposter syndrome?
Seraphim: We wish to tell you about the energetics behind the imposter syndrome. The imposter syndrome is as you have said it above in your introduction – it is an inability to honor oneself. There is always something better out there. It is a need to constantly see the other side as being greener, a perennial envy of things that one does not even know they actually want. A better question is why does it occur. It occurs when the human has difficulty coping with some integration. Rather than face a particularly difficult integration, the soul fragment begins to scan their horizon and look for ‘escape.’ In this escape, it buys them time from having to actually deal with the root cause of the matter. So, we are saying something very important here because in dealing with the imposter syndrome, it is important to have compassion with one’s self as there is a root cause that is nearly intolerable for the fragment to deal with.
If the person is dealing with something intolerable to them such that they go to great lengths to avoid dealing with it, how would we start transmuting the imposter syndrome? It’s easy to say we need to honor ourselves, but if I understood what you just said, that isn’t always possible.
Seraphim: It is possible to honor one’s self when in the imposter syndrome but it is very difficult. Like any other difficult integration, it is important to highlight that the imposter syndrome is a negative pattern like any other negative pattern. That is, it would be helpful to do a pattern interrupt when one is deep into the ‘imposter.’ Hereon forward, we will call the soul fragment that causes the imposter syndrome, the ‘imposter’ and this is distinct from the small self and yet even more distinct from the totality of the soul.
Now, we wish to tell you a common story of how the imposter syndrome manifests itself energetically. What occurs foremost is that there is a trigger that is reminiscent of this thing that the person cannot confront. Then, what occurs is that the personality, the small self begins to avoid. The small self then begins to interact with the imposter and the imposter makes it feel even worse for its avoidance. Does this sound familiar? It should for this is a karmic lock with the small self. That is, the small self has difficulty dealing with this integration that was likely a repeated pattern for many lifetimes and at the same time, it is berated by the imposter. The result is then that the outward facing personality then has difficulty honoring themselves, for they are in this kind of difficult and unhealthy pattern of abuse onto one another. Do you see this? The small self is afraid of the imposter and the imposter is perpetually disappointed in the small self. And the cycle continues, on and on.
So, how does one begin to break out of this abusive cycle with one’s self. It is to silence the imposter while you integrate the small self. Ask the imposter fragment to calm down and that you will deal with what needs to be dealt with and then to integrate the small self by asking about this thing that they are so afraid of or so ashamed off. Tell them, it is okay for you will assist them in confronting what needs to be confronted. In this manner, the imposter then will begin to open up about what scares them. That is correct, it is the imposter that is the first victim. That is, before they were the perpetrator or the bully for the small self, they were deeply victimized. So, it is to listen to them and then to soothe the imposter so that they no longer believe that this thing they have been hiding is just unpalatable. Once you break the cycle and integrate one of the fragments in a karmic lock, it will become easier over time to integrate the rest of the soul fragments within this karmic lock.
Did I get this right? The small self is integrated for whatever it is they are avoiding or escaping but it is the imposter that will ultimately speak up?
Seraphim: That is correct. Ultimately, the imposter and the small self are one in the same. That is, the imposter was once the small self and the small self was once the imposter. They are two sides of the same coin that is trapped in a cycle of abuse. So, it is to begin to recognize the first of these fragments, and it is usually the imposter who will speak out about its first victimization.
Wow, that is really complex. Sometimes we witness our friends or family going through the imposter syndrome. How can we assist them in integrating?
Seraphim: There are therapists that are skilled in these matters and it is best to leave it to the professionals for as you have just conceded to, it is indeed a very complex soul fragment. Among friends, what can be done is for you to hold the space for them to honor themselves. This may sometimes mean honoring them but it could be as simple as setting the intention to hold the space for them and to give them strength in that space. Sometimes, that is the best you can do coupled with your silence.
How do we know we have fully integrated the imposter?
Seraphim: This is a great question. Once you integrate the imposter, you know what the root cause was that they were avoiding or escaping from. You can describe it succinctly and with some clarity. Now, you know you are fully integrated from the imposter fragment because when you think of this root cause, the source of avoidance, you feel neutral about it. You no longer want to run or avoid or escape. It is merely a thing that has occurred and you are okay with it.
Any other last messages about dealing with the imposter syndrome?
Seraphim: It is important to be kind to self and not empower the imposter either as a perpetrator or as a victim. That is, do not engage their victimhood or their aggression or need to exact justice from that victimhood. We have said it before – it is almost never a good idea, karmically speaking, to exact justice for if a wrong has been done that justice will be exacted by the universe at large. So, it is to try your best as the personality to remain neutral and to honor yourself little by little. Little things such as telling yourself ‘Good job doing the dishes!’ will go a long way in integrating the soul fragment little by little. So, honoring even little things will go a long way in breaking the cycle of abuse.
Thank you very much for your time!
Seraphim:We are always with you and support you in these complex integrations. And so it is.
